In the new (old) Republican Pledge To America Republicans are promising change, real change this time.
Some of the highlights are:
- Tax cuts for the wealthy – Without rich people, the poor and middle class wouldn’t have their coattails to ride on, so they need a break.
- Repeal of Healthcare reform – Pre-existing conditions are YOUR problem, don’t blame the insurance company.
- Smaller Government – Except for wars.
- Saying NO – In the event that we become the majority, we promise to continue to say NO to everything, cock blocking any sort of progress. It’s just who we are.
- No public funding for abortion – Nevermind that this was never actually the case, we figure most of you are, well dumb, that’s right, dumb and will just believe us because without your fear, we don’t really stand a chance.
- Cut spending – We promise not to bankrupt your grandchildren’s future by spending money in America on American’s. We, the GOP, pledge to you that we will only spend upwards of a trillion on tearing down and rebuilding third world countries.
- Jobs – We promise to do everything possible to give corporations tax breaks for shipping their jobs overseas. It’s just cheaper that way.
- Unions – We’ll ensure that you, as the employee, have zero rights in any way.
- Immigration – In America, if it isn’t obvious that a person is outwardly white (American!) then they will have to provide citizenship documentation.
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