In a move to put a much needed positive spin on abortion, Planned Parenthood is launching a new campaign to get the word out that it’s not as bad as extreme right wing Republicans make it out to be. “We even offer cookies!” could be heard from a nurse in an exam room next to us during our interview with the director, Shaquitha Nolan, “Now we’re giving them free TV’s?? Shit, it’s like Christmas ’round here!”
The move comes in the wake of additional revenues by the Susan G Komen fallout combined with Obamacare funding. “We have all these extra rooms we used to use for breast exams and pap smears that are just sitting, so we though why not just fill them up with TV’s for the promotion.” With abortions being over 99.8% of what Planned Parenthood does, other services that seem pointless are being dropped.
Some restrictions apply to get a new TV, it must be at least your second abortion but first timers still get cookies and a balloon. They now also offer a frequent abortion card for every 5th one, it’s on the house.