Category Archive Humor

ByEric

Tea Party gets a black member

Meet Carlton, an African American voice for the Tea Party movement, representing his people and their plight for a more prosperous tomorrow. Growing up in Beverly Hills, Carlton understands what it’s like on the streets of Bel Air, the hardships of getting a decent education while staying off of drugs and out of gangs. Carlton would have never asked tax payers to subsidize his school lunches or college education, EVER! Because he’s a real American, a patriot whose sacrificed everything to be the man he is today.

Carlton will not stand for Obama and his socialist policies and doesn’t believe in giving African Americans a hand out, but a hand up. That’s why he’ll be appearing at inner-city schools to ask children not to accept Government WELFARE handouts, no free cheese, no food stamps, nothing. To be independent and free from the tyranny of the Obama administration who is doing nothing but holding them back. Look for the Tea Party Express in city near you soon.

ByEric

Fox News viewers are real patriots

In response to stories like Hurricane Irene or the DC quake on the Fox News web site, viewers took the opportunity to voice their opposition to Obama and his socialist policies. Many readers expressed concern over Obama’s vacation from the basement of their moms house, known for their patriotism these comments reflect what real Americans think.

“If anyone could make the whole eastern seaboard tremble it’s Obama” exclaimed one patriot, said another “that’s the rumble of Obama’s Marxist troops coming for your guns!” Did Obama blame George W Bush for the damage done to the Washington monument? Whose “fault” is it? Fox News viewers want to know.

Sometimes opinions alone cannot fully convey the point of how these patriots really feel. With a lot of time on their hands due to Obama’s job killing agenda researching sites like drudgereport, newsmaxx and breitbart.com to cite non-partisan facts on global warming, ACORN and Planned Parenthood’s “90% of what they do is abortion” only serve to bolster their credibility.

ByEric

Dr Pepper finally comes out with new product

You know you want to try it!

ByEric

You Da Man

Michele Bachmann is in touch with the African American community. She’s fought to keep Government out of their housing, food assistance and education subsidies because that would be keeping them down, hindering their ability to flourish out of the ghetto through prayer.

African Americans have it far better today than when they were slaves, to give them assistance when they are so entitled now hurts America and it’s economy. Besides, didn’t they get enough from stealing money after Hurricane Katrina?

So remember, Michele Bachmann is a friend to everyone equally unless you’re gay, black, Mexican or Muslim.

ByEric

Hello?

Lionel has a couple of questions.

ByEric

Welfare Sucking Anchor Babies

It all seems innocent enough, swim on over to America, start having babies and then claim 14 of them at a time while sucking the welfare system dry. OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK. But it’s even worse than you could ever imagine, these two CONSTITUTIONALLY ILLEGAL babies Consuela and Horhay Gonzalez Rodriguez Morales are sipping it up at the beach on our dime!

So apparently underage drinking laws don’t apply to them either, what the fuck, just go ahead and litter those bottles all over the beach while you’re at it. Don’t worry, you have LIBERAL immunity to do whatever you want!

ByEric

New Sarah Palin iPhone App – iQuit

Hot off the iPhone app market comes the latest in political apps targeting Sarah Palin fans. From her first term as Governor to running for president, there’s nothing that Sarah Palin won’t quit.

You are able to track past and current dropped ventures with features such as a Bridge To Nowhere ™ where you can follow Mrs Palin’s career.
You are also able to ask Gotcha Questions ™ such as “How was your day?” or “Did you have a pleasant bus trip?” and watch as Sarah gets flustered then spits out a phrase from our patented Random Gibberish Engine ™.

Whether it’s following the Palin kids’ adventures in per-marital sex and having babies to watching videos of that sexy Todd riding a snowmobile, this app has it all.

ByEric

Anthony Weiner’s Porn Ring Uncovered

This isn’t the first time Anthony Weiner has exposed himself at the bemusement of his followers. In fact his most tweeted word is “Bush” one could conclude that he is following a naturally progressive pattern of self exposure. “After seeing his tweet I hit the gas pedal instead of the breaks and crashed head on into Whole Foods” exclaimed a follower who is now suing for damages.

Republican Lindsey Graham has also criticized Weiner for treating Twitter like a “bath house of lurid sin” while former Congressman Chris Lee defended Weiner asking “what’s the big deal.”

ByEric

Homeless man “under pressure”

Getting his funk on to earn that spare change.