Cats

Thomas Veil

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I think cats are cute. I don’t want one as a pet, I’ve got nothing against them...I’d just rather have a dog who jumps up and down when I come home than a cat whose default attitude is Fuck Off.

In fact if somehow I ever came into possession of a cat, that’s pretty much what I’d name it: Fuck You.
 

Alli

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I think cats are cute. I don’t want one as a pet, I’ve got nothing against them...I’d just rather have a dog who jumps up and down when I come home than a cat whose default attitude is Fuck Off.

In fact if somehow I ever came into possession of a cat, that’s pretty much what I’d name it: Fuck You.

Our cats pout if we leave the house, and are generally watching out the window for our return. They all race to the door when they hear us coming.

They definitely like their alone time, but they don’t like it as much as other cats. I usually have 2 of the 3 in my bed at night, and always for naps.

Yesterday I went for a tub, and as I was sitting in the semi-dark up to my neck in the perfect temperature water, one of them decided it was the right time to have that conversation. This is the cat that almost never talks. But boy howdy, was he in the mood to chat while I was in the tub. I think he mostly wanted to make sure I was alright since he knew I was in there, but couldn’t see me. I had to get up and look over the side to assure him I was alright and that could leave. That was, of course, when one of the other cats came in to check on me.
 

lizkat

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Our cats pout if we leave the house, and are generally watching out the window for our return. They all race to the door when they hear us coming.

They definitely like their alone time, but they don’t like it as much as other cats. I usually have 2 of the 3 in my bed at night, and always for naps.

Yesterday I went for a tub, and as I was sitting in the semi-dark up to my neck in the perfect temperature water, one of them decided it was the right time to have that conversation. This is the cat that almost never talks. But boy howdy, was he in the mood to chat while I was in the tub. I think he mostly wanted to make sure I was alright since he knew I was in there, but couldn’t see me. I had to get up and look over the side to assure him I was alright and that could leave. That was, of course, when one of the other cats came in to check on me.

It's called getting quality time. It's always on their terms somehow.

i can haz quality time with you.jpg
 

lizkat

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I think cats are cute. I don’t want one as a pet, I’ve got nothing against them...I’d just rather have a dog who jumps up and down when I come home than a cat whose default attitude is Fuck Off.

In fact if somehow I ever came into possession of a cat, that’s pretty much what I’d name it: Fuck You.

Snoopy may also have come to more or less that conclusion.

it's official, cats rule.jpg
 

Scepticalscribe

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From my experiences with cats, they have three moods they'll show when they first see you: "meh", "sup", and "U GOT FOOD?".

You forgot the fourth: "Bow down to me, and worship me, my human slave, which I shall abbreviate to "my human" because it is well known (among educated cats) that humans cannot master - let alone understand or begin to comprehend - instructions of more than two words."
 

lizkat

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From my experiences with cats, they have three moods they'll show when they first see you: "meh", "sup", and "U GOT FOOD?".

Yep. Or once in awhile they get that "yep, you're the one" idea in their cat brain and it's game over, you are in fact the one.

A black and white kitty that I came home with from the shelter once after I went there looking for another tiger-striped one, she kept putting her paw through the bars of a shoulder-high cage to make contact with me when I walked by looking at all the cute critters.

First time I said something like "aw aren't u cute but i'm looking for a tiger kitty this time... "

2nd time I said "aww.... aren't you the persistent one!" but then asked about the two tiger striped siblings in a cage at knee level... turns out they'd been adopted that morning...

3rd time the black and white job not only put her paw through the cage again to touch the side of my neck but also performed a silent meow to make sure I got the message. Yep. Game over. She owned me for the next 20 years.
 

Renzatic

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You forgot the fourth: "Bow down to me, and worship me, my human slave, which I shall abbreviate to "my human" because it is well known (among educated cats) that humans cannot master - let alone understand or begin to comprehend - instructions of more than two words."

That mood probably exists among the more upstanding, purebred cats, but my doof tabbies aren't able to muster the requisite aloofness to pull that off.

Though Pete does have one extra mood, which is "I'll just roll over, and stretch my legs out here so you can pet my belly, I swear I won't bite you...HA I LIED!"
 

Citizenzen

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Long story (ends with piss) ...

We had a neighborhood cat that hung around regularly at our house. He disappeared for years and we had long assumed he was dead. He showed up again, emaciated, deaf, with a quarter-sized "brain" growing out of the back of his neck. We thought he was surely on the brink of death and gave him a spot in our garage. We scheduled to get him in to see a vet, had the carcinoma removed (no sign of it in the lymph) and just last week had the stitches removed. After weeks of care, he was whole again and starting to get a little belly back. He's very needy, loves attention and a lap, and we started introducing him to the house and our other six cats.

Today for the first time he was in my computer studio where I now work remotely doing graphic design for a university. I saw him walk under my desk, and immediately I hear the sound of water trickling. I looked down and the bugger was peeing right into my surge protector! I quickly bumped his boney behind away, and immediately unplugged the device. A good portion of my afternoon was spent buying a new protector, and cleaning up all of my cords and my carpet. And old Grandpa was back in the garage.

If anybody wants to buy a used surge protector ...
 

lizkat

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Now if they could make a small cata-llama (?), I could go for that.

Kinda like a goat only fuzzier and less likely to eat the laundry off the line than just curl up and take a nap on it after the stuff has been brought into the house and folded by the homeowner servant...
 

lizkat

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If I had to take a guess on what that is, I'd say it's an Australian Longneck Boonzercat.

I suppose there are parts of Australia so far into the outback that nobody really knows for sure what might be evolving out there. But then I used to wonder about that right in this county after I had first bought a place up here and was learning where the (then all unpaved) back roads would take you as a shortcut to this or that town... or... eerily sometimes... definitely NOT.

Ran into a T in the road one time and took the left instead of the right that someone had told me would take me to a little place owned by someone whose wife made and sold spring rolls there... but the left turn was a dead end thing that kept getting narrower and finally had pieces of bedrock sticking up, but strangely enough had ditches on both sides. Eventually had to back out of it and all the while I kept seeing the tall grasses rippling and hearing a half whining chuffling sound like a bunch of baby boars or some such following along, I dunno, trying to hitch a ride or else make me pay for rousting them out of a nap? By time I got back to the T intersection, I just wanted to get the hell outta there.

Whenever I think of spring rolls now, I think of that weird road and those little piglets or whatever they were. Meanwhile I got more lost trying to retrace my original approach to that T stop, taking another couple wrong turns, everything was dirt roads then and not marked. It was a deeply overcast day and I couldn't hang onto where the sun should be... Long short I ended up somewhere down near a body of water I finally recognized as the backside of a reservoir I more or less knew the location of... about 40 miles and a dozen bridges south of where I meant to have ended up. What can I say. I couldn't have duplicated that trip with a map in front of me. Finally found a paved road that ran into a state one I knew, and so made my way north again, meanwhile realizing there sure weren't many gas stations in the area and I was lucky I didn't have to ask a farmer or worse someone definitely not a farmer for a loan of fuel to get home on.

Well it was more scenic than being back in NYC and getting lost in a part of the Bronx, seeing the same Burger King drift in and out of my focus while trying to find the end of a detour to the Cross Bronx Expressway. I must have passed that fast food joint five times before I finally spotted a patrol car and got a clue out of my loop. And the thing about the Bronx then, when you heard a whiny chuffing noise it was not gonna be baby boars, it was some guy wanted to wipe your windshield with a dirty rag at a red light, and you to roll down your window and give him money. I wouldn't have minded having an Australian Longneck Boonzercat along for the trip that night.

So endeth the shaggy cat story.
 
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